Today I had an epiphany, my friends. A reckoning of sorts.
I finally listened to the words of the wise Ellen DeGeneres: “Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system”. And because I cannot actually throat punch the people that make me angry throughout the day, I am thinking I am going to quit my day job. My life is, after all, my choice, right?
So, I have decided I will no longer be forced to be the one responsible for washing 63 pairs of underwear a week (and that’s on a good week if you know what I mean.) I will no longer be forced to be the sole caretaker of miniature mess-making monsters with limited communication skills that are not housebroken (no matter how adorable). I no longer will be forced to be a chef, baker, server and dishwasher in this ‘apparently open 24-hour restaurant’. Most importantly (and excitedly), I will no longer be forced to be the scrubber of the porcelain.
But, where do I get my pink slip?
Being a mom can be a thankless job. A hard job. At times even a nightmarish job. And the problem with quitting a job where you’re the boss, your work is pro bono and you are the sole caretaker of your own little tribe, is that no one can actually fire you. No matter how much you want to throw in the towel some days. Or how much you screw up. And good grief do I screw up momming a lot.
Some days I show up late, other days I don’t show up at all – I mean, I’m there, but I’m not there, ya know? All too often I’m ill-dressed for the ‘work’ environment (apparently a lack of pants after 9 a.m. is frowned upon in most social and public settings. Who knew?) and time after time I’m told by the tiny people under me what a horrible mom job I’ve done. Countless put-downs and negative reviews from I don’t “cook good” to how “meany” I am. And, admittedly, I *may* occasionally yell too much.
But, BUT, I do love my charges. I love the people responsible for making me a Mom Boss. From my husband to the eight children we were blessed with. And I honestly and truly wouldn’t really want to be anywhere else. I love my Stay At Home Mom life. Sometimes I simply just don’t like my job. The stresses, anxieties and constant worry for all my people, all the time, can be overwhelming and tiring. And the constant fear and realization of failing them can be too much to handle.
So, maybe I just need a workplace playroom reevaluation. A reassessment of my parenting priorities. A positive mom attitude adjustment.
I need to start looking at that sippy cup as half full of whole milk.
From this point on, I am going to stop feeling “forced” to do the housework, clean up after the kids or be in charge. I will look at all of these responsibilities as a choice. I chose to be a mom. And now I choose to be a better mom. I choose to put the kids first. I choose to let go of the Super Mom expectations I have put on myself and just enjoy this amazing Mom Job I have been gifted.
And really, who cares if the toilet cleaning gets pushed back another day because you chose to go to the park and have a bit of fun before lunchtime and naps instead (or pushed back 2 or 3 days because, honestly, you really just don’t want to do it)? The toilet, the laundry, the Lego mess, the dirty floor and sticky cabinets; they will all still be there waiting for you when you are ready to tackle them – trust me.