Dear Baby #2,
I’m happy to call you my little “Birthday Baby” because your due date is exactly nine months after my birthday. I’m not sure about the science on that, but I can be happy in my own way about you being my special new second baby and sharing that with me. I have been so busy with your sister, who is clearly already in the world and making a big splash among the toddlers, that I sometimes almost forget about you. I know and I hope you know that it doesn’t mean that there isn’t enough room in my heart for both of you!
I’d like to take this opportunity to say sorry and that you really are just as important as your sister was when she was on the inside even though you are the second baby. It was a different experience with her since I could focus more on the sensations of pregnancy and could take naps and things like that whereas, with you, I am chasing after her and forget to take showers sometimes because we’re busy at home or trying to play outside somewhere. I hope you understand and maybe someday will appreciate this when you have babies of your own.
I can already tell that you have a different personality than she does. I love how you already express yourself and respond to things on the outside that you hear or experience. You seem like a more laid-back person, maybe more like me. You seem to lay lower in the womb and just kind of chill as if you were on a lounge chair at a Sandals resort, hanging out and wiggling when you want a snack. I then bring it to you like a beach-side cabana girl.
We don’t know your gender yet so you are still such a mystery to me. Strangely enough, I always had an intuitive feeling that your sister was a baby girl and never doubted that. With you, I have never had any inkling or thought about it. This pregnancy seems so different, though I’m not sure if it’s because my body is used to being pregnant, so the symptoms became more extreme this time. Possibly you are a different gender and my body is trying to tell me by making this pregnancy feel different.
I hope that no matter what gender you are, you can live your best life and not feel inhibited by social norms and expectations about that. Right now, you are safe and free, feeling happy to enjoy yourself in the most natural way possible. I hope you can always somehow remain true to that, to knowing that you are loved and cared for and that you can be the person you were created to be without thought to how others perceive you or how others believe you should act.
This week, we have the twenty-week ultrasound and will find out more about who you are, second baby. I’m excited to see you and see you moving around. Sometimes I feel like having a baby is like the best kind of blind date, except you haven’t met the person yet but you know that you love them. Keep telling me who you are, Little Baby, and grow nice and big so we can see you in a few months and snuggle.
Your Excited Mama