I apologize for a lot of things. Things I don’t need to; we are both going down the aisle and I need to get around you, so you move, and I apologize. Why? I think it’s simply a woman’s nature. It’s so unnecessary and I internally shake my head when I catch myself doing it. Before I jump in, I need to give full disclosure: I currently apologize for everything on this list, and more than likely I will continue to apologize for the foreseeable future. If not verbally, I can assure you that my eyes and body language are saying “sorry.” Maybe you have a list of your own, and you can breathe a sigh of relief knowing you aren’t alone in your “I’m sorry” word vomit. My hope is that by putting this list out there, by speaking it into existence, one day the apologies and guilt will stop.
Stop the madness
I took a poll, like a really scientific poll*, and found that all of these things are OK! And there is really, truly, no reason to apologize for them. Why? Because we are human, our kids are human**, and things just happen. So let’s try to stop feeling so bad, self-conscious, and guilty. Mom-guilt, mom-shaming, and more are all a real things. The only people that can stop it are moms. We have to stop it. We have to join team parenting because parenting is just hard.
*I asked my friends on Facebook
** Are we sure? Like really sure? They have superhuman strength for someone their size, go from sour to sweet in nanoseconds, and they can fling food further than what I think is humanly possible.
Sorry, not sorry for…
- my messy house. The floor is covered in toys, Cheerios, clothes, and more (so, so, so much more), but we are having fun, we are happy. And one day, Isabella is going to master an obstacle course with ease!
- quite possibly wearing the same pants a few days in a row. Listen, pants are hard. Changing clothes is hard! Just let me be comfortable.
- canceled plans or just having to say “no.” Let’s be honest, you’re tired too and you secretly enjoy cancelled plans just as much as the next person (mom or not!)
- letting my kid eat chicken nuggets and/or pasta for the fourth day in a row. Hey, it’s good stuff! I can’t say I blame her for loving it and it being her current all-time favorite food.
- putting a movie on my phone while we are out to eat. We just want a quiet meal for a little bit, ok?!
My goodness, why am I so sorry?!
6. hiding for just a little bit. Shhhh, she thinks we are playing hide-and-go-seek.
7. taking “too long” to put my kid in the car seat. I know my butt is blocking you from pulling into the spot next to me but I have very complex wrestling moves to perform to get her in there. Safety is number one so, you can wait.
8. my kid staring, waving, and saying “hi” to you for the millionth time. She is just friendly and likes making friends.
9. having a “free-range” kid. We let her explore, she is rarely in a pack and play or her crib outside of bed and nap times. We keep a close eye on her as she enjoys her freedom and we are instilling trust in her as she learns.
10. getting involved in activities and going to different events at a young age. Who wants to just sit at home all day? This gets us both out of the house among the living and fresh air. We love music class, she likes seeing other kids, and I think it truly makes a difference in her young mind. And why not take her to a festival or the community cookout?
Fingers crossed the insecurities stop
Maybe it’s all in my head. Maybe I’m not being judged for doing the things I do. Some of it probably is fabricated, I am just self-conscious, but sometimes it’s not. So far I have been lucky to not have a bold person directly address me about any of the things I listed, but sometimes people’s eyes say it all. And to that, it’s time to learn to just (internally) roll my eyes and keep on keeping on. The happiness of my family is what matters the most, and I am sorry, not sorry if that bothers you in some way.