While pregnant with our first child, now a sassy 2+-year-old daughter, we felt that a nanny would be the best type of childcare for our family. We liked the idea of our baby being in her home environment, with her toys and her own bed, while also reducing her exposure to germs at daycare. We were fortunate enough to offer a summer nanny job to my brother’s girlfriend. They both lived with us for a summer, and she provided childcare for our daughter during those months. They were my first months back to work, and it was a wonderful ease into trusting others with my prized kiddo. We knew that Kirstie would be going back to college come August, so our hunt for childcare didn’t end once the arrangements with her were made. Here’s a short recap of our experiences in finding a good fit for our family:
Childcare Search Round One
- I did what any mom would do- I started googling and searching within mom groups. Though I nannied myself through college, I knew things were likely much different now compared to what the searching was like then. After researching a lot of options, we decided to make an account with Care.com. The nice part of partnering with a website like Care.com is that they do some of the vetting for you (including having access to background checks, linking reference letters, etc).
- Having an account meant that potential nannies could message us, and I could also message potential nannies. I don’t want to count up how many people I spoke with because it would probably be alarming. The messaging back and forth allowed me to explain a bit about what we were looking for, and to inquire about what they, as a potential nanny, were looking for.
- Interviews. Oh my goodness. I had no idea what to expect, but what we encountered during the interviewing process was absolutely nothing of what we expected. So many cancellations, no-shows, and interesting personalities showing up at our doorstep. From an individual who lied about their father’s role at my place of employment, to others who spoke quite unprofessionally to us.
- Our interviews led us to two individuals we liked and felt that we’d be able to trust. We offered one woman a position, she accepted. T
hen a couple weeks later we invited her over for dinner to spend more time getting to know her. She did not show up. We offered the next woman the position. She accepted. And then a couple weeks later, she informed us that she had a change of heart and would be starting college in the fall. Back to square one. - At that point in our search, we were running out of time and opened our minds and hearts to the idea of in-home centers and/or a daycare. We met with and toured multiple in home centers. One of which was recommended frequently in an online mother’s group. Unfortunately, the home was certainly not up to our standards of care, and we weren’t even comfortable staying in the home for long. Another visit to a different in-home setting leaving us equally unsettled had us pretty discouraged at this point.
- We heard from an in-home provider that was in the process of moving, and opening in her new home soon. We met at Starbucks, and we simply fell in love with her. From the moment she mentioned babywearing fussy babies, I was sold. She had a curriculum, kept up to date with continuing education, performed developmental assessments, and had such a warm personality. We were sold. And then she decided not to move or open her new center. We were HEARTBROKEN again.
- At this point, we were desperate, and signed Annabeth up for a daycare center, even though I cried while leaving. It was a nice program, but I knew that a center was going to be a big shift for her, and I was terrified by all of the rules and regulations that it meant for my tiny human, as well.
- A miracle. I saw an ad for an in-home center nearby. We went to meet with the lady, and to tour the home. The home was cleaner than mine will ever be, and she had the experience and gentle nature we wanted. It was a perfect match and was a great place for our tiny banana for a good while!
Fast forward a couple years, and Annabeth is now at a daycare center at my work, which allows for significantly more flexibility with drop off and pick up times, and has been a great, convenient change for us. That being said, with number 2 arriving quickly, we have started to reconsider what type of childcare arrangement will be best for our family. We have been searching for nannies, speaking with in-home providers, and have toured a few daycare centers. In the past several months here is a small recap of some of our experiences:
Childcare Search Round Two
- Dozens of messages with potential nannies.
- FIVE failed interviews (five people either canceling or not showing up).
- One woman lying about a death in the family – uncovered after reaching out to references.One woman berating me for not being willing to pay her requested salary. While I’d love to pay someone the moon and the stars to care for my babies, I have a master’s degree and barely make what she was requesting, so…
At this point, we are still in the process of determining what is going to work best for our little family. An aspect that has further complicated this search is the number of times I have received comments such as “I could never work just to pay for a babysitter to raise my children” and have been questioned by how I justify working to “just pay for childcare”. First, please don’t assume that working mothers “just” work for the money. Mothers work because their career is important to them, it allows them to impact the lives of many individuals and families, and it certainly contributes to their family’s financial solvency. Also, please don’t assume that since children are in daycare that it is the daycare provider raising them. This is a common statement I have heard, and it is both hurtful and inaccurate. Our family values, morals, lessons, experiences, and shared life will add to my child’s “raising” in ways that their childcare arrangements do not. That being said, the hunt for the “perfect” childcare arrangement is as important as it is given that the people who care for them during the day certainly impact and shape them as people.
I will ALWAYS say that childcare is simply the worst aspect of being a working mother, it is HARD to find a good fit, whether daycare/in-home center/nanny, there are so many things to consider when making such an important choice. Not to mention, we will most certainly be paying more than our mortgage on said childcare, so it is a large financial investment, as well! What helped you find the perfect childcare arrangement? Which environment was most conducive for your family?
