You’ll Understand When You’re a Mom

 

Dear Mom,

Each year as we near Mother’s Day, I find myself reflecting on my mother as well as my five short years with the same title. Every time I journey down this thought process, I find myself thinking about the phrase that used to drive me insane: “You’ll Understand When You’re A Mom.”

Well, I’m finally a mom, and now I understand. Thank you.

There really aren’t any words to accurately describe all that a mother does for her family, but hopefully “thank you” is an okay place to start.

Thank you for worrying. During the last five years, I have learned that there is no stop to a mother’s worry. Even things I know logically aren’t worth worrying about manage to squeeze their way into my mind all. the. time. I remember being a new driver who was clearly invincible, rolling my eyes every time you said to “be careful.” Now, I hear you when I tell my daughter to wear her helmet and to “be careful” on her bike. And someday she will roll her eyes at me. And that’s okay, because eventually she, too, will understand.

Thank you for saying no when it would have been easier to say yes. There were so many times I was certain that you didn’t trust me and wanted me to be stuck at home with no friends forever. Now, I know you were hopeful that I would never experience a broken heart, a scary situation, or worse. I also know that you were looking at the decision through your more experienced adult lens and not the instant gratification kid lens. Sometimes I’m sure my daughter believes I’m the meanest mom in the world because I have to say no to her as well. I’m a mom now and I finally understand that “no” isn’t a bad word.

Thank you for sacrificing so many things for me and for our family. Being a stay at home mom was (is!) not an easy job. And, it doesn’t pay nearly enough. As my own family dynamics change, I realize the difficulty of the decisions you made when I was young. I have also realized my childhood (the one with family dinners together every night, neighbors who were like family, and at least one parent at every school function) was rare, special, and important. My childhood is the barometer that I use to measure my own decisions regarding family. I’m a mom now, and I understand how important it is to create and maintain these family values, no matter the cost.

Thank you for everything you did behind the scenes. I’ve always known that the winter clothes didn’t magically disappear in the spring, and the bathroom didn’t clean itself. What I didn’t realize, however, is how all of these small chores add up, and how they never go away, even when we are sick. So, thank you for the small things. I’m a mom now, and I understand why moms never really sit down and watch a movie.

And, lastly, I’m sorry I didn’t realize how important Mother’s Day really is to us moms. It is so nice to be appreciated and for the little things to be noticed once in a while. So, even though I’m 30ish years late, THANK YOU!  And Happy Mother’s Day!

Thank you for everything, Mom. I finally understand.