I am Three!
- Why are you sooo surprised that I am going around saying poopy, pee-pee, and laughing? You’re the one who wanted me to start potty training.
- And yes, I had another accident. Those are just skid marks in my underwear.
- You want me to go potty again? NO! You want me to change my underwear? NO! You want me to take a nap? NO WAY! Naps are for babies.
- I’m not trying to make you mad!
- I just really need your love and connection right now and I don’t know how to ask.
- I just NEED you right now, just you. That’s why I only give YOU a really hard time.
- Can we go for a ride to the store this afternoon?
- Yay! No, I’m not going potty again. And yes, it takes me 10 minutes to get on my shoes and to walk out to the car.
- I’m sooo tired…. Zzzzzzzzzz.
- I’m up, I’m up. Going shopping is so exciting!
- I want candy, and crayons, and playdough.
- NO, I can’t have toys and treats?!
- Kicking and screaming will surely get what I want and no I’m not trying to embarrass you.
- I have this persistent NEED to get exactly what I want, RIGHT NOW!!
- OK, never mind. I feel better. Let’s play hide and seek.
- I’m running as fast as I can to the toy aisle, bet you can’t find me.
- Wahhhhhh! Mommy! Mommy! Where are you?
- Phew, so glad you found me. I was so scared. Will you hold me?
- I love you so much and I’m just trying to find my place in this big world.
- Let’s go home and play dress up together. Oh, and one last thing… poo-poo, pee-pee. HAHA!!!
How to help your child
- Routine Charts. Routine charts may be helpful during this time. Allow your child to create his chart with your guidance by asking him what it is he needs to do to complete the routine (i.e., bedtime or morning). Then refer to the chart, rather than reminding your three-year-old what to do. According to Jane Nelson, founder of Positive Discipline, the more children do for themselves, the more capable and encouraged they feel. Let the routine be the boss by asking “What’s next on your routine chart?”
- Let’s Do It Together. Asking your three-year-old, “let’s do it together” shows that you two are a team and on the same team. It prevents power struggles and less reminding. Modeling this approach over time encourages your three-year-old to help the next time she is needed.
- Ask for Help. Don’t be ashamed to ask for help from family members, friends, or a babysitter. A few hours of help will go a long way!
- Build a Bridge. If your three-year-old is in preschool, build a friendship of trust with his teacher. If your three-year-old sees that you take the time to get to know his teacher, you are showing your son that he can trust his teacher, too. Openly communicate before drop off and after pick up.
- Do Versus Don’t. Saying don’t is discouraging and confusing to children. When saying “don’t leave your shoes on” your child needs to think what they’re not supposed to do and then what they are supposed to do. Also, modeling “Please take off your shoes” models respect.
- Distraction and Redirection. Distraction and redirection can still work well at this age, such as “let’s see who can go faster, mommy or you.” Never make competitions between siblings and other children, just against adults as a friendly means of competition.
- Five Positive Statements. As your three-year-old is struggling to find her place in this world praise her for good behavior. Try giving 5 positive statements before a negative. Also, be realistic about what your three-year-old is capable of doing.
- Potty Training. Be patient! Even if your three-year-old started potty training at two-and-a-half, it still may take her an entire year to fully potty train. And then accidents can still happen even when you precious preschoolers gets to kindergarten. Also, make sure she is pooping regularly because constipation can cause a lot of accidents and this is something important to track and relay to the pediatrician.
- Potty Talk. With all the fascination around potty training, your three-year-old may be interested in bathroom or potty talk. First, try to ignore the bathroom talk. You could also say, “I noticed you have been talking a lot about poopy, do you need to go to the bathroom?” That will usually stop the talk. Also, get books about going to the bathroom, like “Everybody Poops,” by Tara Gomi. Make up other funny words and jokes as a distraction.
- Take good care of yourself. You are an amazing parent!
To find out more about three-year-olds click here.
To see the other posts in the series, check out: I Am One and I Am Two. Stay tuned for more!
