I truly believe that your love for your child grows & grows the older they get. You advocate for them, encourage them, & help shape them into who they are supposed to be through your love. You don’t change them or fix them, but rather you help them along in life. Love gets bigger over time BECAUSE of the day in and day out (not despite the day in and day out).
Our firstborn struggled those first three months to nurse well and naptimes were a battleground! We both needed a break, so I discovered the art of a well timed “stroller nap”. It was great to get fresh air & walk around the neighborhood while he napped. Then the struggles got a little more complicated…a little more gray.
As soon as Jack could crawl he became extremely interested in anything electric (cords, outlets, lamps, radios, ect.). The usual tactics didn’t work for him. He relentlessly was drawn to all things with cords, & the more we tried to stop it the more we realized that it was just a part of who he is. I found it easier most days to just leave the house & take him somewhere fun to play. That way I didn’t have to face all the inevitable tantrums that would happen (due to him wanting electronics & wanting to plug them in.)
I wanted him to “fit in more” & just be content playing with regular toys. He seemed to not want to interact much with his peers & had strong quirks. He lacked some social & communication skills and was a sensory seeker. He had intense meltdowns that were so exhausting & confusing for me because I didn’t even know what had upset him. He seemed to be overwhelmed from holding it together & working hard to function.
When Jack turned two years old, we realized that he needed help with his communication skills. He didn’t imitate or use gestures. His vocabulary was very limited, & we had trouble understanding his needs. We got him started with Speech Therapy & he learned sign language. We learned he had trouble with both receptive & expressive language. The Speech-Language Pathologist encouraged me to contact the county program called “Help Me Grow” whom could be of further help. One of their Occupational Therapists started coming to our home to help Jack learn how to “sit and attend” & how to give him a steady “sensory diet”.
We continued with weekly speech therapy but started to see a new SLP who was more experienced. She thought that Jack had a speech disorder. It made sense because his hearing tested normal, yet he was still struggling with language! It seemed that we were on the right path…then ended up being switched to another SLP, who was able to rule out a speech disorder. He turned three years old & she encouraged me to get him evaluated for Occupational therapy (since services from Help Me Grow ended.) We were able to get him started in an OT program, though I did have to convince the therapist at the Evaluation that he needed her help! I’m glad that I insisted because he benefited so much from those biweekly appointments! As moms, we have to trust our instincts & advocate for our children when we feel it necessary.
This past fall some more of the puzzle pieces came together; Jack had a “Developmental Evaluation” & was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). I felt a lot of peace finally getting an answer. Jack had grown, but was gonna start growing a lot more! He needed further help with communication & social skills. They told us what a bright future he had ahead of him! That we had been doing all the right things & that’s why Jack had already grown so much. We felt so encouraged!
I realized that God was with us through all of our struggles the past four years: during all the phone calls, referrals, paperwork & appointments. Early intervention services were a significant help towards putting all the puzzle pieces together that helped him grow. I’ve learned to still advocate for him, but to tone it down some to a degree. It would be very very easy to fall into the trap of the “autism world” and fully immerse all my time & energy thinking about it. It’s a balance of seeking help & advocating, but also knowing when to know to say no to certain things. It’s completely overwhelming: all the resources & options for therapies.
Our children need our reassurance, love, affection, patience, & loyal commitment. Jack is amazing with or without a diagnosis. I think the way he views the world is what makes him unique! He’s a lot like me in a lot of ways: intense, sensitive, & perceptive. He’s so fun to be around: he’s vibrant, silly, and creative! We’re so grateful for the incredible support that we have from our friends and family; we wouldn’t be where we are today without them! We choose not to look behind us, but to keep looking ahead & focus on helping him to further grow. Jack is a superstar & has a great future!
About Kristi Reilly:
Kristi grew up in Westerville and currently resides in Columbus with her family of four. She’s been married to her college sweetheart for almost 11 years! She set aside her career as a Hairstylist to stay at home with her two young boys who are currently 2.5 & 4.5 years old. Life has been busy the last few years, yet she’s glad to have faced the struggles as a SAHM because she’s learned & grown so much from the experience! She’s learning that parenting is a process and that the process is God working by His Grace through her in the lives of her children. She and her family enjoy spending time together at home and also by going to fun places together. Play-dates, church, dates with her husband (in home or out), and get-togethers with friends & family are all things that she enjoys!
