Communication is an important part of any relationship, but it can be a challenge at times! When we communicate effectively, it allows kids and the people in our lives to listen better.
One of the most common issues in troubled relationships is the unintended use of “communication blocks,” things that prevent your message from achieving what you intended them to do. If we can work together on these communication blocks, then there is a better chance for our kids or our spouse to listen to our message.
3 Methods to Avoid When Trying to Get Kids to Listen Better
I call them the 3 C’s:
Criticism – negative remarks about the person (i.e. “You are SO lazy!: All you do is play video games.”)
Complaints – negative remarks about a specific behavior (“i.e. “You didn’t take out the garbage, again.”)
Critiques – telling someone how they did it wrong (i.e. “You are supposed to load the dishes this way” or “That’s not the right way, just let me do it.”). Critiques put the speaker in the superior role and the other person in the inferior role, which is a guarantee you’ll close off communication.
Take a moment to think about the last time you were frustrated with your partner or your child. Did you happen to use one of these 3 C’s? This could have led to even further frustration for your kids or your spouse. This could have caused your child or spouse to not listen and escalate the situation.
When we take the time to be aware of our mistakes, we can change them and improve our family dynamics. Added bonus, you will feel less stressed when you break the cycle of negativity and your partner or child will be more open to conversations with you! On the flip side, you could try the 3 Positive C’s of communication to help your loved one listen as well!
What are some things you avoid to improve communication with your loved ones?