Dear Husband, 
First things first…I can be a jerk. I admit it and I am sorry. You do nice and thoughtful things all the time, and I hardly show any appreciation. A simple thank you is long overdue. Some days you might wonder if the love is still there. It tends to get lost in our new parenting duties. But trust me, it’s there. The love I have for you fills me up from the tip of my toes to the top of my head. I know most of this is going to be hard to believe because you rarely hear this stuff anymore. Now you are used to “do this,” “you forgot again?” and so many other things mumbled under my breath in obvious frustration. What I need to be saying is “thank you.” Trust me when I say the words in this letter are filled with true appreciation and gratitude. Maybe, probably, bookmark this so you can refer to it when I am having one of my not so pleasant days…so like, tomorrow.
You aren’t invisible
I know that almost as soon as you walk in the door after a long day of work, I might start delegating tasks or simply just walk off to do the chores that I didn’t get to. I want to know about your day. You should be able to confide in me, but I know my attitude makes that hard. There are times in life when I have felt invisible and that sucks; I don’t want you to feel that way. You do so much for our family and even though you don’t think you are doing anything special, I am here to tell you that it IS special. We both work full-time jobs and then come home to be full-time parents. It’s hard, and our boss at home can be a tyrant! Luckily she pays in giggles and lots of snuggles. Thank you for working hard all day and providing for us, giving us a nice home, and making our life as good as possible.
You are a great husband (and an even better daddy)
It is so hard to make time for each other. I vow to do better and take that time to treat you as a husband and not just my “baby daddy.” I do notice and appreciate the little things you do to show love. The way you touch my back when you walk by me, or when you stroke my cheek while I hold our daughter. I am so appreciative that she will grow up seeing how a man should treat a woman, and she will know to accept nothing less than what she sees between us. This is yet another reason I need to stop being so jerky. I want her to learn how to express gratitude when people are nice and show her they care.
In this crazy thing called life and parenting, there have been too many times when I have been giving you my worst instead of my best. Instead of feeling inadequate when you start cleaning the house while I’m lounging after a long day with our girl, I will put my feet up while you vacuum. I will do my best to stop feeling like I failed you, or that you are judging me in some sort of way. Because in the back of mind, I know you aren’t judging. We are a team.
Neither of us knew what to expect when we entered parenthood. We wonder every day if we are doing well, and let me tell you something: I think we are rocking it. Yes, some days are harder than others; I get upset and exhausted, you get upset and exhausted, and the cycle continues. I couldn’t imagine riding this roller coaster with anyone else. You need to know that.
I love you more today than I did yesterday
Sure our life has lost a little bit of that spontaneity and has been replaced with “Ok we will go after she takes her nap.” But all of those outings, and just even sitting at home watching Sesame Street as a family has a different kind of excitement. Seeing you as a dad has renewed my love. It’s so funny when I remember you being “worried” about having a girl! The two of you have a lot of fun together, hanging out, playing, singing, and sending me “usies” while I am at work.
Today, and every day, I want you to know: You are my favorite. Thank you for being you. Also, I am sorry for being a jerk. Thank you for putting up with me over all these years. We have a lifetime to go! Kloveyoubye.
