Wide Open Cry

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I was watching the Today Show recently, and my girl Hoda was discussing the importance of being the kind of person who allows people to cry. To just cry. To let it out and cry real big, even ugly tears – out into the wide open!

It got me thinking because I feel like most of us want to fix things for our friends, our kids, and loved ones. We want to erase the pain, offer comfort, and soothe people when they are sad. We rub their back, hand them a tissue and try to assure them everything will be OK. Sometimes we even offer solutions or suggestions.

So consider this, the next time someone in your world is sad, hurt, grieving, or just plain old frustrated- just BE there for them. Give them the chance to “cry it out”. Sit quietly with them, show support and solidarity – but nothing else. No solutions, no wiping away the tears – just compassion and friendship. You can even sit in silence. Sometimes not saying anything at all is the best thing you can do. Just the knowledge that you are present and that you empathize with them can be so incredibly meaningful and supportive. Even if you can’t relate to the feelings or the experience, just actively listen, and give them that shoulder to cry on. Wide-open cry, on!

I recognize that sitting in silence can be hard for most. As humans, we intuitively want to help when we see people in pain. So if silence doesn’t feel natural to you, then do the opposite! Ask questions. If someone has lost someone they love, ask them to share a story or a memory with you about their loved one. Remembering the good times will never end poorly, I promise. Another easy question / suggestion is should we go for a walk? Changing scenery and moving your body works wonders! My last suggestion is to simply offer options – ask if it’s best if you get involved and try to help solve the problem? Do they want you to offer advice or would they prefer you just listen? Giving choices, sends the clear message that you are there for them, and that you are there to show support and love.

Cry on, my friends!!!!

let them cry

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Kristen Fazzio
Kristen is a mama to three blue eyed girls, Bryn (10), Maya (6) & Tessa (5) and has called Columbus home since 2004. She was born in Pennsylvania, but her family moved a lot when she was growing up. Her family has been in Ohio since 1999 which is the same year Kristen became a Bobcat at Ohio University. In her 4 years at OU, Kristen met some of her very best friends, learned to stumble with grace down brick streets, rowed on the OU Women’s Crew team, joined a sorority, fell in love with her now husband Justin AND earned a degree! A “big girl” job in Retail Real Estate at LBrands brought Kristen to Columbus, and if she’s being honest so did the guy. They married in 2007 and started a family in 2012. When baby #2 arrived in 2016, Kristen became a stay-at-home mom and 18 months later, baby #3 arrived! It’s the hardest and best “job” she has ever had! In her spare time, Kristen enjoys exploring Columbus, reading, running, Crossfit, decorating, documenting the days through pictures, hiking, yoga, organizing and labeling things, attempting to be crafty, bargain shopping, DIY projects and spending time outdoors. Her favorite things in life are the beach, her girlfriends, travel, wine county, Mexican food, bike rides, sunsets, red wine, french fries, ice cream and her of course family!