Am I Where I Want To Be?


The combination of a New Year and a January birthday always brings me to a place of introspection. I just love the hope that comes with a fresh start and the excitement of new adventures to come. Amidst all of the ambition, I also find myself pondering my place in life. 

I remember distinctly completing my high school senior survey with the questions, “Where do you want to be in five years? Ten years?” I can’t exactly remember my answers, but what I can say for sure is where I wanted to be most certainly isn’t where I ended up. 

Time to time, I find myself thinking—am I where I want to be? Has my life played out the way I thought it would? Are things how I always had hoped they’d be? For me, these are really tough questions to answer. It often leads me back down memory lane strolling down the path that got me to where I am today. I recall many of my own personal choices that lead me off the path, along with the events beyond my control that changed the course of my life. 

The next question that follows is–do I really want be where I thought I did? Plans change, experience shapes my world view, love and pain mold my heart, relationships and connections provide fulfillment, adventure brings enrichment, risk brings courage. Although I thought my life might look different for me at this age, it doesn’t mean that I’m not where I’m supposed to be. In fact, I believe it’s the complete opposite. And although I still have quite a few goals, aspirations and dreams I’m reaching for, I’m making an effort to move in the direction of making them reality. Along the way, I am learning, figuring things out, changing and adapting. I’m also trying my best to not let expectations dictate the outcome of my happiness. 

In retrospect, I can recall not long ago when the future of our family was uncertain. My husband and I were living in waiting, hoping and praying for the gift of children. I remember quite vividly dreaming for the life I have now. It is not lost on me how incredibly lucky I am to have the opportunity to be a mother. 

So, I thought life would look different for me at this point. And perhaps I thought my life would play out in a very different way as well. But when I reflect on all of the blessings I would’ve missed out on had things gone differently, I’m filled with gratitude for the beautiful, imperfect, rich and satisfying life I do have. I could definitely have gone without a lot of the struggles and challenges and would change some of the choices I made, but finding meaning and purpose through it all is what brings peace. And truly the only place I want to be right now is exactly where I am.

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Emily Bice grew up in a small, Ohio farming community west of Columbus. It wasn't until she met her college sweetheart and future husband that her mind was opened to living elsewhere. They say love makes you do crazy things which lead Emily and her Texan husband to living in Central America for two years. After much adventure and traveling, she ended up back in Columbus where the real adventure began: motherhood. She is the mom of two young boys and an infant daughter and wife to the ultimate man's man. She's living her dream as a stay at home mom but will be the first to admit that she is far from having it all figured out. Her hardest parenting moments are typically around nap time and bedtime and after particularly rough episodes she can be found online shopping. In a former chapter of life, Emily worked in non-profit raising funds and awareness for important causes. Today, she spends her time playing and snuggling with her three children, traveling to and from her husband's lacrosse company's events and socializing with friends and family. When she has any free time, she usually wastes it trying to figure out what to do.