Most people enjoy Mother’s Day each year as a time to celebrate their mom or be celebrated as a mom. After all, moms work hard, and a day to celebrate them is well-deserved! However, for some of us, Mother’s Day is associated with pain, loss, and sadness. It’s depressing to think about a holiday in that way, but it’s an unfortunate reality that many people deal with each May.
As I’ve written in a previous blog post, my mom passed away when I was a child. Each year when Mother’s Day came around, I began to dread it as a painful reminder that my mom wasn’t with us anymore. In elementary school, when children made cards and pictures for their moms, I was faced with explaining to my teachers that my mom wasn’t alive for me to give the gifts to. As I got older, I resented the commercials for greeting cards or Mother’s Day specials at restaurants.
Throughout the years my feelings around Mother’s Day have fluctuated between anger, resentment, sadness, grief, and numbness. Mostly, it just made me miss my mom even more than I already did on a daily basis. I couldn’t foresee a time in my life when this holiday would be associated with happiness.
But of course, that all changed when I became a mom myself! My first Mother’s Day as a mom was the first time that I remembered feeling happy on this day in May. It was so refreshing to feel joy and gratitude instead of dread and despair.
However, I have recently been reminded that there are others who dread Mother’s Day, and not because they have lost their mothers. There are so many women who long to be mothers but struggle with fertility issues, have experienced miscarriages, or even lost their babies or children. Many of my close friends and acquaintances have experienced these heartbreaking situations. Although sad to think about, it’s a reminder to be exceedingly appreciative for the happy, healthy child that allows me to celebrate Mother’s Day now. And also a reminder for all of us to be sensitive to those who might feel sadness with Mother’s Day approaching. Showing support through a call, text, or email can help make the day more bearable for someone struggling with these difficult situations.
