The Misadventures of the New Stay-at-Home Mom

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Hi! I’m new here. I had spent the majority of my time as a mother in a full-time career and now, well, I have taken a step back for the foreseeable future and I will take on the roll as a stay-at-home mom. As with everything motherhood related, it is nothing what I expected, but exactly what I needed.

I always thought I would be a full-time working mom. I had worked so hard for my career. I grew up with the mindset and environment where it was expected that you could do it all. You could have a successful career, children and a happy marriage. I do still believe this is possible, and I will always keep the option to return to full time work open.

I really can’t believe I did it. I walked away from my full-time job. My job had started taking a toll on me, mentally and physically. I was not being a good wife or mother. I literally felt like I was failing at every aspect of my life. I am grateful to my husband for being open to this current transition and change in lifestyle for our family.

Visions of Daily Life

I had visions of how my daily life would be each day. I would no longer be rushing out the door, family time would not be interrupted by work calls, and working holidays/weekends/overtime would be a thing of the past. I fondly remember my second maternity leave as a time that I loved being a mother. Except, one difference now was that I was starting my time at home with a rambunctious one-year-old, and a four-year-old that need constant cueing with his pre-k worksheets. Most days they both consider nap time optional.

Week One

Okay, week one, and enter head cold. So any thought of establishing a new routine went out the window. All I wanted was a short nap to rest, but my kids hate to nap and are wide awake by 6 a.m. I got more breaks at my previous job and I was a nurse!

Week Two

So week one didn’t go as planned, but week two I thought, “I can do this!” I am a list person. I need to write down and check off each task for each day. I thrive under a strict schedule of times and tasks. My kids are mostly receptive to a strict schedule, especially in regards to meals and snack times but it still didn’t eliminate all the chaos!

Retail Therapy

In the moments of frustration, I so desperately wanted to indulge in my go-to self care act, retail therapy. The one huge adjustment of this new adventure was the loss of income. I may be known to my friends as the go-to invite for those hostess parties because I’m such a sucker to try new products. I have a nail girl, jewelry, and cleaning supplies, to name a few. I had to unfollow a few retail Instagram accounts due to being a sucker for those styled shoots of must-have new releases. Now I really have to ask… is this a want? Or a need? Ninety-nine percent of the time it is a want.

Into the Kitchen

One room I have spent more time then ever before is the kitchen. I think sometimes my husband still wonders how I survived living alone in my 20s since my knife skills are scary, and I don’t think I have actually used a crockpot by myself. My least favorite chore is doing the dishes. My husband had to recently give me a mini tutorial of which of our pots and pans are dishwasher safe. I am determined to assist with meal planning and assist with saving money as part of being the primary homemaker and stay at home mom now.
Every stay at home mom has their own story of how they became one. Some planned on it from the beginning, for others it was more a change of circumstances.

Each week I feel more at ease with this new role. There was a learning curve to adjust this new normal. I know looking back that even though there was chaos and laughs, I won’t regret being at home!

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Nicole Fluty
Nicole was born and raised in Toledo, Ohio. She graduated with her bachelors in nursing from the University of Toledo in 2009. In 2012, she moved to Columbus for a big city, single girl life, but as life would have it, started dating her husband six months later and the rest is history. She joined the motherhood club in May 2016 with the birth of son Austin and welcomed daughter Madelyn in July 2019. When not keeping up with her two kids, she works full time. On weekends, a favorite activity is getting together with friends that have multiple kids and enjoying the chaos of three year olds and babies, while attempting to watch a whole football game without tears or reminding a kid to share. Nicole’s top three ways for self-care are a quick run in her neighborhood, a glass of wine, and retail therapy. She considers brunch the best meal of the day with a mission to find the best places for french toast in Columbus.

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